Writing a memoir can be an overwhelming task, especially when deciding which life events to include. Your life is full of experiences, but not all of them will make it into your book—and that's okay. The key is choosing events that serve your story's purpose and resonate with readers.
Start with Your Theme
Before selecting specific events, identify your memoir's central theme or message. Ask yourself:
Your theme acts as a filter—include events that support it and exclude those that don't.
Categories of Events to Consider
Turning Points
Moments that changed the direction of your life:
Challenges and Conflicts
Struggles that tested you and led to growth:
Achievements and Milestones
Accomplishments that defined your journey:
Relationships
Connections that shaped who you are:
Formative Experiences
Events that shaped your worldview:
Questions to Ask About Each Event
For each potential event, consider:
1. Does it support my theme? Events should connect to your central message.
2. Is it transformative? Did this event change you in some way?
3. Can I remember it vividly? The best stories include sensory details and emotions.
4. Does it reveal character? Events should show who you are, not just what happened.
5. Will readers connect with it? Universal emotions make stories relatable.
6. Does it move the story forward? Each event should contribute to the narrative arc.
What to Leave Out
Consider excluding:
Creating Your Event List
1. Brain dump: Write down every significant event you can remember
2. Categorize: Group events by theme, time period, or type
3. Rank: Identify which events are essential vs. optional
4. Test: For borderline events, write a brief version and see if it fits
5. Seek feedback: Ask trusted readers which events resonate most
Quality Over Quantity
Remember: A focused memoir with fewer, deeply explored events is more powerful than a comprehensive chronicle that skims the surface. Choose events you can describe with:
Getting Started
Don't let the selection process paralyze you. Start writing about the events that call to you most strongly. You can always revise and reorganize later.
At Biography Publisher, our guided prompts help you identify and develop the events that matter most to your story. Start your memoir journey with us today.
